Recently I have been using this space to post sermons I've preached but I realize this space can be so much more and honestly I need it to be. The last two weeks have been super stressful emotionally and the last seven months or so have really been spiritually lacking. This isn't to say that I don't know God anymore or I've cut off ties. Rather I've realized that my priorities when it comes to God need to be shifted.
As a 20 something newlywed, who works in a church and is beginning the formal journey of ordination I am at a place where many roads have become intersected and its crowded! In July I shifted to ministry full time, my income got cut, I was figuring out the classes I need to wind up this masters degree, we were planning the details of our wedding and my drive became "do it now" centered. Yet six months after our wedding though are in a different season, I still have these blinders on that tell me to "do it now".
In class last night a classmate told me in conversation "remember self care is not selfish". My God.
How am I supposed to be my best self as a leader, a minister, a co-worker a wife, a partner, a daughter, a friend if I don't take time for me? Anyone who knows me knows I am a giver, I would rather help someone then get my own house in order. Yet by doing that I am doing a disservice to myself and disrespecting the call that has been placed on my life.
I won't promise that I will read my bible more thoroughly, that I will journal daily or that I will take up some sort of exercise like yoga. I won't compromise my word to make a point. But I will say that I need to make space for a quite moment with God daily. I will say that I have poured out and not taken time to be poured into. I will say that I don't take intentional time to recharge.
This is my humanness, this is my imperfection. Yet I am still beloved. So friends, its time to hit refresh.
-CJL
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